DEO'S DIARY- EP 4:Box of Secrets; Like Mum, Like Deo!

...diary, you have gradually turn to my bestie, do you really want to know this new secret, my mom and I had a great time today, as supposedly "friends" but this led to another secret door, that will unveil more, I promised not to tell anyone, but of course you're excluded.

Today came like cinnamon, so sweet and tender, the sun is not scorching, and the breeze is wafting my hair and I'm feeling like Beyoncé, making “upgrade you” music video. I love wearing my hair in ponytail, when I'm either on braids or when my hair is undone, but this lovely weather, makes me let it down to blow, and I loved it…

It’s D-day, when momma and daughter are hanging out like its Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie having a good day out, definitely there would be no cat fight, but I hope it goes well, and I will be loyal to my friend (mom), It’s best friend thing uh?, we are letting it all hang out, no holding back. I started wondering, what questions will she ask?, what would my answer be?, what would I ask her too?...well I don't want to think too much, I will just flow with the rhythm.

Mom and I went shopping at our usual mall, we always shop for what we need, and the ones we don't need or use. Here we are again buying a lot of groceries, wines and other stuff, we shopped last week! "A big one", of these same groceries, just last-week… we are wasteful, we end up throwing most of them away or give it to our cooks and cleaners...they don't stay with us though, they come, work and go, beg and steal.

I didn't ask her what the shopping is for, maybe this is what “girlfriends” do when they hang-out in my mom's term, I just can't wait for this part to end, it’s her money, not mine and like she believes, “mom knows best” I know right, even when she was wasting her money. 

We stopped for an ice cream, and I ordered for my favourite, "Oreo-Overload." (I've fantasized on dad overloading my vagina with it, and licking it up, all of it!) I can't really remember the last time mom and I did this together, She talked about her business bringing in a lot of profit, and her new crazy Abuja friend that was happy over her husband’s death, "he left all his money for the children and I and I can't pray for him to stay alive one more minute"… she was making an Hausa accent, which I guess that’s her friends accent and it was so funny.  I hope mom doesn't think like her new friend. Well, she has her own money, and dad once told me, “she makes more money  than him”, so if anyone would giggle on such, it would be dad, or me “both of them dead” I'm a young millionaire. She also told me about her plans to donate some money to charity, and that’s something I love about my mom, so generous, ask her and she will give, but if you steal, she will kill, (I'm definitely not stealing her man, maybe I should just ask).

I thought we are heading home, but this is not the way home, I don't know why, but I didn't ask where we are headed, I just sat there and sang along with the music playing from the car radio. I want to see and know more about my mom, so I won't bore her with unnecessary questions. We entered this beautiful estate, and stopped in front of a duplex, quite new and lovely, the gardens are well groomed and trimmed, no other word, it’s beautiful on the outside, and just like all the buildings around, it’s screaming “I'm expensive”. I just need to ask. “Mom, where is this”?....I was actually expecting to hear, “umm, it’s my sick friend’s house,” and she’s the owner of the groceries we bought, or something close to that, but I was wrong, she smiled and brought out a bunch of keys from her bag, and dangled it in my face, she obviously has the keys to this house, she did her funny catwalk to the entrance door and flung it open with pride, we entered and she switched on the light,... It’s so beautiful inside, new, cozy; flushed with pink and gold designs, “pink and gold” that's my mom's favourite colour.

She jumped on the pink three-seater leather sofa and sighed, my baby, “let's just call this place our little secret for now” I couldn't secrete saliva to wet my dried throat that moment… how many more secrets, with all the ones I'm battling with. I don't get you mom, “secret?” I observed a big picture of mom and I smiling hung on the wall, for the first time it seems like I resembled her. “Yes, this is my house, (she narrowed her eyes) nobody, not even your father must know about this place”, she grinned, and stood up from the sofa, I finished it up last week, and I want you and I to be very close, that's why I brought you here, we will cook, eat, drink, and maybe tell ourselves some secrets, I don't want to be too distant from you Deo... Some part of me was so pleased, I know mom has some chips stacked, but enough to pull this kind of house, it’s fucking four bedroom duplex, (according to her) and the location, that's an accomplishment. I'm happy for you mom, I rushed to hug her, held her tight and that moment was true, ( I wished I’m not attracted to dad, I wished I didn't voyeured on him too, but I did, and I’m still going to do it). I bet I almost cried, she showed me around, “this is your room” it’s still empty, and  I don't know how you want to design it,… she showed me her room, my room, visitors room but no dad’s room, something is going on. “Why can't you tell daddy?” Well reason best known to me for now, you don't worry yourself and promise me not to tell anyone, Deo if I can’t trust you with this small secret, how much more with others....wow! So there's more in the secret, hashtag, "reason why dad mustn't know", did Wale say anything to her, I strongly doubted that, mom will never play cool or friends with such. Well like a good daughter who wants to get closer and know more secrets, I promised to keep the secret, but not from my diary.

We had spaghetti and chicken, mom has always been a great cook, she just doesn’t have time, except for valentines and dad’s birthdays, the home theatre was blasting a song about love, ”love me hard tonight” was all I could pick from this old song chorus, but mom was singing along with passion, her voice is not the best, but the enthusiasm she was singing with, made me almost love her version more than the one that was playing, I can’t remember the last time I saw her like that, she seemed so happy and alive, not wearing her tired face or I’m late to a meeting squeezed face and I wish dad was here to share this moment with her (us).

"Who are you dating"? She asked and smiled sheepishly at me, like a mother up to no good... seriously how did we get to that question, but I will be truthful about it, I grinned and answered, "no one for now mom", she didn't look surprised, and she stared at me vacantly, and I asked why the vacant stare? "Tell me, are you a virgin Deo?”... Okay! Okay!! It’s getting awkward but I'm still going to be truthful. “Yes mom, I'm a virgin”, she tried not to laugh, but I know she wants to, she always does this mockery thing with her lips; she sipped her wine and raised her two hands up, like she was giving up, but no she wasn't “who are you really waiting for baby girl"? she was staring right into my eyes, as if she knew something…maybe she does or was I thinking too much?, "who am I really waiting for?" she knew I was waiting to give my innocence to someone, I wish I could just tell it to her face "your husband mama" but no, I  dare not, I don't even have the gut to, I'm still thinking of the best answer, she refilled her glass, and said, “if your crush doesn't know, tell him now or move on".... if only she knew right, but she was right, if I can't tell dad how I feel, then I need to move on.

I decided to play a little game with my questions

"When did you start having sex mom?”

“Since I was eighteen” I was amazed at her abrupt answer, it came out like she was expecting the question, and so I continued "what is sex like between you and dad?”, she frowned and puffed her cheeks and her lips was tightly closed, I knew I've pushed her buttons, and I felt good about it.

 “It’s too personal, why would you want to know what sex is like between your father and I” she chuckled, “you’re a strange daughter” well, sex with your father, was the best I ever had.

I wanted to ask how the relationship between the two of them is going, I felt something was wrong, I hope they are not getting a divorce.... it’s always like this in Hollywood movies, and then it’s a divorce, well my life is not a movie, but I need to know whatever is going on.

I will prefer to be snoopy from now on, need to find something and could she be having a secret affair, with whom? She’s definitely up to something and it’s my job to find out

“I will give you a spare key, when I feel like you should have it, but for now, you and I can come here and do our girls gist… she left the dining for her room and I wished I could bug the house, yes! "Bug this secret house" that's the crazy part of me wishing,

I know mom and dad fight sometimes, and they moan a lot during sex, which sometimes turns me on, risque, yeah! But it does.

They both have it good, so I need to know what is up... I still want dad, just as much as I need to know what mother is up to....it’s like mother, like daughter. When I get something, you will be the first to know.

Deo's Diary-episode three.....he definitely has the joker card! Diary of a young girl that is sexually attracted to her father

......
In Wale's (my cousin) room... I watched him closed the door, I planned to make the situation look like, its no big deal, so I sat on his rough bed, boys and being rough.I glanced through his room, scattered books and shoes all over the place, I spotted something quite interesting, "a porn-magazine" on the front page, lies the picture of a pretty white lady with big ass, shoved in her opened puss, a black big dick and  beside this magazine, stood a body lotion,without a cover, where could the cover be?,  I wonder what that is (was) used for, its not the talk for now. 


''What the hell were you doing?, that was so sudden, coming after a few minute silence, seems like somebody is trying to draw my gaze from the magazine.

Wale!...I screamed back, what the hell did you think I was doing, I gently crossed my legs, looking at the direction of the magazine steadily and intently... I want him to know that my eyes were caught by the picture, and guess what?, it works, he rushed to pick the magazine and threw it in his opened wardrobe, then he snapped... 

Got a call from your dad this afternoon, that he was not feeling fine, I drove him to the hospital, the doctor told him his blood pressure was high and he needs rest, he was given some medication and since I brought him home, he has been sleeping, I was checking to see if he's up that was why I gently open the door, and I... I didn't ask for this story, but a bit of digression is needed, and Wale by himself, just helped me out of this awkwardness.

Oh my! I jumped off the bed, I didn't know my dad is not fine, high blood pressure? what could he be thinking of?.... why didnt you call me or mom?... really, I amazes myself with the way I'm playing this, its not like the first time dad will be told his BP is high nor to rest, but this drama I'm putting up, is to get myself out of Wale's room. its no big deal, he needs rest and he's getting it. 

But why are you getting so sexual looking at your father?... Or there's something I don't know. I wonder why he had to use the word "father" instead of "dad" I guess to make me feel guilty, yeah! the sick daughter, voyeurising on her father's bulge, well, that worked me up and I feel so terrible and filthy. what would dad say or do, if he had opened his eyes to see me doing all that... I was totally crushed by guilt, and nailed to the floor of shame, but I'm sure, he never think of me that way, ever!, I'm his daughter, not lover, and the best I can ever be, is his daughter. But what about my feelings for him?, these feelings had always been there, long before now, and it's still right here, immortalised in my body and soul. I'm more than a mess and truly I need help.

I don't even understand what happened myself, I ought to feel sheepish and beat but somehow I felt cocky instead, guess that's the best defense I could put on. what did you think you saw me doing Mr?, I can't remember what I was actually doing, it's like... I kept repeating the same two words in a dreamy whisper. "it's like...it's like...it's like..." 
He moved closer, grabbed me by by left arm, and drew me close to himself, his eyes glinted mean, and were looking directly into mine, wide opened that I could see the floaters in them, but I was strong enough, neither did I looked away nor blinked, but his look told me he was certain of whatever he saw. He whispered into my left ear, his lips almost touching my ear, its suppose to tickle, but hell no, my ear was ready to catch every words coming out of his mouth. " I saw you clearly and I'm not playing, I saw you fingering yourself hard and fondling your breast, while you looked at your father's bulge, you did it so well that it turned me on so bad Deo". There was a long grave silence in the room, it was a deafening silence, I can't even think, this part of my cousin, I've never seen before, he doesn't look angry, but was so serious, what card would I play, he definitely has the joker card. 

Wale standing very close to me was totally out of  comfort, his lips almost touching mine, and he won't let go of my arm, all that was resounding in my head was "it turned me on so bad Deo", memories began to flash in my head...I remembered the way Wale stared at me sometimes and said "if you were my girlfriend", I remembered him playfully touched, my breast and said he was sorry, but they are firm. it all began to make sense to me. I stared directly into his eyes, and he was giving me this sexy look, gently raising his left brow, his thick lips are slightly opened, looking ready to plant a big kiss on my wide opened mouth.

 Maybe the family is sick, I don't even care about what everyone is up to, but his thoughts towards me was gross! "I turned him on" did I say gross? well everything is gross, and I need this madness to stop...I snatched my arm out of his grip, gently walked out of his room, I hope my silence says a lot to him, maybe that will shut us both up, on what he saw and what I heard.

I checked on dad, he was still sleeping like a baby, couldn't spend a second looking at him, cos I'm sure that salacious feeling is still lurking somewhere in me.  

I went back to bed imagining what sex with my cousin sounds like, its not funny at all, I just don't like the sound, it bled my ear and shattered my heart. well, I can't wait to leave this house tomorrow, and get away from all this demonic desires from the deepest pit of hell.... Oh! before I forget, I got a call from mom, she said she will be back from Port Harcourt tomorrow, and she would like us to hangout, not like mother and daughter, but like friends, and I begin ponder, " like friends", the last time we did such, she was trying to find out if dad's secretary has been coming to the house when she was away... well, let's see what happens this time as "friends", but I have a feeling something strange will come out of this.

Diary! I need help.

Secret diaries: Its getting more offensive and sickening on Deo's ...

Secret diaries: Its getting more offensive and sickening on Deo's ...:  I don't even know how, but this time, I've really fucked up, no one knows, (hopefully) but God and you (diary) knows. After the l...

Its getting more offensive and sickening on Deo's diary- Episode two...Caught in the act! Diary of a young girl that is sexually attracted to her father

 I don't even know how, but this time, I really fucked up, no one knows, (hopefully) but God and you (diary). After the long boring Thursday class, I hung out with my friends, oh they are so dirty, always having one sex gist or the other about guys they've  met, I glued my mouth to the straw as I listened to these crazy girls talk. Deo you're yet to gist us about your sexcapade, don't you have any?....abeg Annie... shes's always on my case, she had once accused me of being a lesbian in denial, that girl won't just stop worrying about my sex life. Off my case, you know I'm waiting for my Mr charming; really,I wish I could tell them about my feelings for my dad, but let it be between me and my diary, before my story will be the next super story among my friends.

I remember Annie telling me my dad is so sexy, and if I mistakenly leave them both in a room, she will jump on him, she was so serious, but of course, I'm not letting such happen.... Well I can't stand this gist again, its like a boring porn chat, same story different men, all the time. I sipped the rest of my coke, which had my dad's name on it... and as I was sipping the last drop, I wondered what dad's straw will taste like in my mouth, got to go girls, as I bid my girls farewell.
.
I got bored from reading, its not like exam is close, I dropped my books and started surfing the web, from my smart phone to my tablet, one thing about this phones, you can easily switch from a boring point, to a gossip chat, Linda Ikcrazy blog or a porn site...except you want to act Jesus is lord, most of us do the switching, including myself.  I prefer to watch porn on my tablet, the picture is bigger, and my virginity that I hope I give to my dad, someday. Switching from black Americans to Mexicans porn, back to boring white porn, and some masturbating teens. I got so horny...who wouldn't?. I could feel my g-string wet, well this is my secret diary, anything could be said and it's not like anyone will see it... I want to get out of this misery, so I decided to go to dad's room to check for something, dad hardly lock his room and I'm used to not knocking.

Diary! can you believe what I saw, I didn't know dad was around, he must have been on a medication or something, cos he didn't move when I entered his room, I stood close to the door for a while, to see if he will wake up, but hell no! he didn't, so I moved closer to his bed, where he is laying sexy and calm, only God knows what he was dreaming of that result to such big bulge, its so big and I don't know what to do...something in me want to run , but the stronger part of me want to move closer and grab it, feel it, or maybe put it in my mouth, like I saw on that black porn. I've seen some voyeurism online, with my short free gown, it was easy to pull aside my panties, so I started playing around my clitoris with my right hand fingers...such a burning desire, pleasure peaking and intense,totally lust to dad's bulge, I bit my lips so hard, my eyes tightly closed and will open a bit to be sure dad is not looking. Suddenly his body moved and I got scared, but he only moved to show me a clearer picture, and it seems like it has gotten bigger,oh no! this is not happening, I'll soon climax, how I wish he was dreaming of me, this time I have my left hand on my right breast and my right finger running around my cunt, this insanity goes on for about 5 minutes...I suddenly felt a presence, and I looked back to see my male cousin staring at me.

I wished the ground could open and swallow me...the wicked look on my cousin tells me he has been watching for a while, I wanted to scream but no sound is (was) coming out, he used his hand to make a follow me sign as he walked out, and like a sheep I followed...the secret is getting bigger diary,can you handle this madness, till I'm sure you can, I will keep it to myself. Right now I'm such a mess.

Growing up with Chris....My aunt and I

Growing up wasn't that easy, especially with someone like my barren aunt acting my mother, I'm not trying to be mean, but I think her childlessness was part of the reason for her wickedness. Since I lost my parents in a car accident....a story I'm sure, was every week song to my ears by my aunt, 'its not my fault that your mother use her aggressiveness to kill my brother and herself, all this nonsense attitude you emulated from your mother,yada yada blahblahblah, she's already dangling her special whip or twisting my big ear.

I believe I'm a grown up, I'm twenty-one years, in my 300level in the university, and I got treated like a twelve year old, in junior high school, I go to school from home, the only time I get to stay on campus, (I'm sure you should know) during exams, which my aunt has the timetable, the last time was so annoying, immediately after my exams, I got a call from her, 'Chris, you're done with your exams now I believe, I'm on my way to pick you. Help me, I just finished my 200level exams, moving to 300, and that call, is it not suppose to be for a JSS student?

My aunt is really trying, kudos to her, but she over-does everything, over-feeding, over-pampering, over-beating, over-this-that-and that. I'm sick of it, she believes, she knows me inside-out, did I  mention, she sometimes ask if I get a boner every morning, gosh! that's her making sure I'm a man. Privacy is totally out of this house, and where has it gone to though.

I'm dealing with many things, I don't have any close friend, but I have a lot of video games, I'm totally antisocial, I'm battling with my sexuality,cos I've really not been attracted to any lady before, don't get it twisted,neither was I attracted to a guy. I don't have a father figure, all I see is photograph of a man looking sad and a woman looking crazy, carrying a baby that I was told its me , when I was one. There's this thing my aunt does with her face, whenever she got the chance to show me that picture that have seen thousand  times, "oh you so much look like your father, I decided to talk back that day, but aunty, I can't really see any resemblance between me and this sad looking man, I think, I look more like that pretty woman you called my mom...I don't know if I said that to piss her off, or something like shades, but she got the memo and was very mad , 'how dare you, you call your own father a sad looking man, and you want to look like your crazy mother, Chris! You want to look like A-ginesssi. I don't know why she always do that, calling my mom Agnes, with a local accent, and she blames me, for stating the obvious in the picture, forgetting, that's the only picture of my parent I've ever seen...why won't they have other pictures? why must it be this only one? she never answer those questions. Even the baby in the picture, look like she was forced to that family, but that was the last time she showed that picture to me though, guess me being annoying works for that.... Don't let me bore you, will tell you more later. 

Have a great week! and don't forget to comment

Deo's Diary- episode one...My demonic desires

Deo's Secret Diary

oh diary! did i tell you I'm crushing hard on my father. I just think my father is the sexiest man alive, he is so caring, yeah yeh! maybe because I'm his only daughter, but am her only daughter too, (talking about my mom).

I'm sure have been sexually attracted to my father before I was seventeen, but I was fully aware of it when I was seventeen, Yes when I was seventeen. I still remember that bear hug, oh! so tight I don't want to let go, he has this after shave smell that turns me on and the menthol smell from the orbit chewing gum he was chewing that evening, I just want to chew his lips, even-though people told me I have my fathers lips. I hated that my mom was around, I might have tried to kiss him, so it ends with I love you so much daddy, but coming out quickly from his mouth, like something it has been recorded to play anytime its needed , I love you too Deo

Well I'm a twenty-three year old, without and never had a boyfriend, I really don't care, none of them look like my father, so handsome, so alive and energetic. Have watched him make love to my mom couple of times, oh, I hate my mom, she is enjoying all of my dad, alone to herself, I'm sure once in a while I wish my mom dead, maybe...but it will always be a maybe.

I love my mom too, but I'm obsessed with my dad, my mom is always out of the country or busy with her business, yeah she got it all and I envy her, a great business that brings good money to her pocket, a handsome, sexy husband and a beautiful daughter with good grades in school,(laughs) what else, Just that her daughter is crushing on her husband. call it crazy, call it demonically insane, I don't care, I grew up in the love of my father and i find it hard to be with any other man, its him, its my father that I want.

Apparently my dad is not feeling the same way, he asked me of my boyfriends few weeks ago, I told him he is my boyfriend and he laughed and said yes of-course, something in me was so happy, until he asked me who am really seeing, I told him no one, the expression on his face says confusion but he believes me, and he asked me why I don't have one... cos none of them is like you daddy, he laughed out loud this time and his phone rang, that ends that convo as he walks away, but I am too desperate for him and I wont stop until I get what I want, actually that runs in the family, we don't rest until we accomplish our James Bond mission....when something pops up, you will be the first to know Diary!