DEO'S DIARY- Ep. 6...WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

My all-knowing Diary, You wouldn't believe what I saw today!

I've been so startled that I really don’t know what to make of it. I really wish you could see things for yourself and most importantly I really wish you would talk back, leave me a note or some advice on what I do next.

You of all people or should I say things or books precisely know how much I love a Vera Wang. I mean the ultimate VERA WANG! I would definitely walk through a den of lions without any thought just to clutch her. And you of all (whatever category you classify yourself) know that the only lion standing between me and the Vera Wang is Mom. I’m beginning to think she’s more of a fanatic than I, who loves it enough to buy them and guard them with her life.

She has refused to buy me one and wouldn't even let me borrow one either. I mean I am her only daughter! The heir apparent to her closet! Why is she just so wicked, brutal and hateful? Why is she spoiling my one and only chance to coolness?

Aaaaarrrrghhhhh!!!

You must agree with me on this - she’s no fanatic for Vera Wang, she’s a lunatic!

That aside, I was supposed to be out on a date today. Yes, I know I've never gone on one of those and you'll be surprised to know it wasn't with dad! It was supposed to be discreet with some random guy I met on the internet. As much as I no longer have a lucid definition for the word ‘normal’ this date would be a boulevard to escape from the crazy feeling and funny secrets.

I chose my short red tube-gown with no boleros for the date to reveal some skin and paired it with my 6 inch black diamond coated pump shoes. I know you wouldn't approve because my boobs were a little too inviting and my legs looked sexy, hot and tall in those heels. I looked like a classy hooker, more like a sexy assassin. Oh yes! With all these hype to my look you would think that I had satisfied the ‘knock-him-dead’ costume test. Somehow I felt naked without the Vera Wang.

Need I say mom has been locking her room these past few days and all attempt to find where she hides her keys have proved abortive. I didn’t have a reason for finding them though but there’s nothing that screams ‘secret here’ than locked doors and I was right to say the devil is on my side because just when I wanted the forbidden fruit I had an all access pass! You could say I was lucky or blessed but then you know that for that door to be left open something is up somewhere. I focused on the mission and went straight to her big closet. What a sight! Just too many bags! Thank goodness I had my eyes on the prize; the other distractions didn't matter to my greedy eyes. Even at that I had to dig, more like fight through heaps of all sort of tempting designer bags until I had victory!

I recalled the look on mom’s face previous times she caught me with her bag. If not that I was her only daughter, I would get worse than the thunderous scolding ‘‘each time you carry my bag it’s never the same! Aside the reduced value, something goes missing! Don't be a parasite. If you love the Vera Wang so much, save some money and buy yours”, and a week’s malice.

 If you ask me, I think it’s worth it!

Just to play safe, I decided to empty the contents of the bag on her bed so that I could easily fit them back in when I’m done with no record of missing items. It's a big bag, so I turned it upside down and all sort of things started dropping, as I was vigorously shaking it, make-ups, face wipes etc.

Then suddenly jumped out this big black thing, I was scared at first; it looks like juju (charm),

I gave it a second look and “oh my God!” It’s a dildo, 'a big black dildo' I've never seen one before, except on the internet, but now, it’s right in front of me, staring back at me while I struggled to swallow my saliva, I touched it…and memories of dad’s bulge flashed in my head with all the dicks have seen on the internet, including Adamu’s, the gate-man, one time he was urinating by the gate and I saw it while he was dangling the drops of urine out of the weapon (Hausa's and big thing though), and yes, this look exactly like Adamu’s size,  very dark and thick, this would be filling and I’m so thirsty for it right now, it should be around nine to ten, or maybe more.

Dad’s dick is definitely not this big, but its quite big too, I wish I could hold dad’s dick like this, it smells just like latex, not disgusting though, but the size has totally overwhelmed me. After some minutes I was able to exhale, so I started looking at the smaller compartment of the bag, I wasn't surprised to find a condom, especially with the name 'ruff rider' I've always known she loves it rough, (especially with the way she yells “harder”!), but with this cucumber sized “weapon of pussy destruction”, oh no! She didn't.

Well, that totally ruined my day, I can't use my favorite bag again, it has too much inside and mom will be so angry if she knows…I see, it’s enough reason to lock her room, only God knows what she has in the other bags, and if it’s going to kill me, well let me die because I’m so ready to do a big search on her over hundred bags.

I put back all her stuff, returned the bag to her closet, and walked out of the room… I can't stop thinking of that dildo; I think I need one too.

                                                                                                

But what is she doing with a dildo? If she could have such in her bag here, what will she be hiding in her secret house? “I need to know…Mom is up to something, “secret house” now “a big black dildo” and a “condom”

“So help me God, I believe mom is cheating, the dildo and condom explains it all.

Later in the day, I was chilling with dad, he doesn't look so cheerful, he has been acting all busy and tired lately, maybe that’s why a dildo was helping on that side, but come to think of it, what about the condom? could mom be so freaky to be doing it alone with the dildo, well I see where I got my masturbating addiction from.

 I asked for dad's opinion on sex toys...I told him it was a big discussion between my friends and I in school, his answers was not what I expected. 

 "Oh! Sex toys, like a dildo?" 

“Yes dad, like a dildo”

“I don't understand it, why a dildo, when you can use the main thing. That sounded a bit off for me, this is 2015, he should try new thing... he has definitely not seen the fifty shades of grey

Then he continued, “It’s freaky and I don't like it, some women does, but definitely not your mom” and he laughed. 

To hide the awkwardness on my face, I had to fake a big laugh...this man needs to get his freak on, mom had been trying new things he's not aware of. 

Mom is cheating on dad, and that's not good. How can she have a man as sexy and romantic as dad and cheat, mom must be crazy!!!

Diary, something is not just wrong with me, but with my family and it’s all attached to sex….whatever is going on, I must find and fix it. I’m not Olivia Pope of scandal, but I am Deo of ripped diaries.

Watch out!