It’s been
two days now since mom had been hospitalized, she is really recovering fast and
I wonder if that comes with the anger she has inside of her. Somehow I feel
like I put her in that condition by telling her things she didn’t know in the
first place.
I don’t
know where this is leading to, but with what I saw in the hospital some days
ago, I still can’t wrap my head around it, the anger my mom showed and the way
she got everyone including my dad startling with her tone and threat to commit
suicide.
She finally
opened her eyes and gain full consciousness the night after the incident, I was
making tea for her when dad entered her ward, dad looked so scared and he
rushed to my mom asking her what happened, my mom that was looking cool under
her white sheet before his appearance, suddenly look angry and furious, I was
there staring at both of them and mom voiced out repeatedly, ‘’who is Fola?’’
Who is Fola? So you’re gay,” Adeolu Anthony you are bloody gay” for the first
time I heard my mom call my dad’s full name.
Dad was
looking numb and embarrassed, he can’t even move, we all know that look on his
face, his lips were moving but we can’t hear any sound, mom kept shouting and
some nurses rushed inside the room, “I want this man out now or I will kill
myself” she was trying to force the drip out of her vein, dad was asked to go
out and I felt a bit embarrassed for him, and my mom filled with tears and
anger, I was there unable to follow my
dad or console my mom, it’s like watching the sky falling, it’s really not a
movie, this is my family tearing apart.
Thank
goodness for sedative injection that put my mom out of her misery, I wish I
could get a shot too, but the nurse told me to go home and they promised to
call me when she wakes, I don’t want to go home, but Annie’s place is not an
option either. I remembered my mom secret house and that just seems to be the
best place I could go and unwind, now I really need that house to chill and
ease some pain all alone, I don’t want to see my dad’s face, and mom’s voice
keep resounding in my head, “so you’re gay…
Something
about non-living things, you meet them the exact way you leave them, the
sitting room looking “the exact way I left it, throw pillows all over the
place, I went to my mom’s room and it was just as bad. The sitting room seems
to make more sense. I saw and half-filled red wine in the fridge, that’s so
what I needed, I removed the cover and kissed the bottle, nothing could have
feel better in my mouth now, not even Fola, or Collins dick, it seems like the
whole situation beats me back to normal, the thought dad’s dick or touch is so
gross to me and I wish I never wished for it.
I turned
the TV on, after five minutes of changing channels from one boring program to
another, and the only thing that is keeping me going which is my red wine has
finished. I decided to watch one of the DVDs on the table, then I noticed a
flash drive plugged to the dvd player, I’m not really interested in what’s on that
flash, but I am so bored and there might be series of movies on it, so I changed
the TV mode to flash and it starts reading, it has just one video file on it
named wrapped” so I decided to play, it
was a bit dark, and there was no voice,
I forward it a bit, then it became clearer, what I saw was totally crazy.
I gently walked
to the couch, sat down and watch the video from the beginning to the end, the
fact that there is no voice totally annoys me, but watching my father fucking
another woman like a porn star totally turns me on, I was practically cursing
the recorder for turning off the sound, watching porn without a sound for me,
is like drinking tea without sugar, (I’m not diabetic) at least put some honey
on it. It took the little angel in me to realize I just watched the sickest
video.
My father and another woman, what could he have been thinking making such
a video and who is this woman?
I now understand
why mom was so hurt before I added the
gay part to worsen it, she had been watching the video before I came, I can’t even processed which of it is worse, your
husband having sex with another man or having sex with another woman on camera,
my dad is doing the two, what kind of animal is he? Aren't we all animals.
I am so
pissed now and I don’t know what to do, but who recorded this and send to my
mom, how did my dad got himself into this mess, not even in this year 2015 when
everything easily go viral on the internet, my family name, oh mom must have
been very angry.
I couldn’t
sleep all night and I wish something will just come and take me away from here,
all my strategy gone and I don’t know how to start putting this puzzle
together, somehow in the middle of my thought, I was hoping I can lay my hands
on a video of dad having sex with Fola, what does gay sex look like, I’m sure
it must be fun too, even though I don’t even know what real sex feels like, but
whatever what I did with Annie is called, I totally enjoyed it, my curiosity
won’t stop, so I browsed a gay porn on my phone, and diary let’s forget the
drama I am going through, if I am a guy I will try having sex with a guy so
that I know what being heterosexual and homosexual really feels like, I am
just a crazy girl that love to explore
and feel what everyone feels, I don’t judge
cos we all have our life to live, I should be whipped for pock nosing
too much into everyone’s privacy because my mom almost died over that.
I got a
call from the nurse to bring some stuff for my mom and she will be discharged
by the end of the week, I don’t know what tomorrow holds and I wish I could
speak to a psychic now, I don’t really believe in them but I just want
something to tell me everything is going to be alright, I ended up downloading
Alicia Keys “No one” hoping everything is truly gonna be alright.
I don’t
know how dad is doing, so I called him
like twice but no answer, I hope he is alright, maybe he is with Fola, sleeping
in his arm or with his porn lady shooting another video to send my mom to quick
heaven, wherever he is, I pray Lord he is not doing anything crazy.
Thank you
for reading my crazy diary, remember to comment.
